A NOVEL OF TRAVEL BACK IN TIME
The clerk’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head when I paid him with a $20 US greenback. He made change, but it was hard for him. He ended up having to go down to the bank to get the needed cash.
It was good to know that US dollars were still good in this part of the country. It cost me $1.50 for the coat, $2.00 for the trousers, and $.50 for the hat.
Once I got the change, I asked if he had a room in the back that I could change into my new clothes. He looked at me rather strangely, but said there was an office on the second floor I could use.
I took my new wardrobe upstairs and hastily changed into my new garb, utilizing the bracers off my old trousers. The only problem I had was that my tender feet were being chafed by my brogans, since I didn’t have any socks.
I came downstairs and viewed myself in a silver plated, full-length mirror that was in the back of the store. I didn’t look half bad, which meant I didn’t look but half good, either. I could have passed for a 21st century Amish man.
I went looking for some socks on the tables and found only three pairs. They were $.25 for a pair. So I bought a pair, leaving me with $35.75. I pulled off my shoes and slipped on the socks. The brogans fit a lot better and didn’t rub my heels as much.
It was then that I got the urge from Mother Nature to go to the toilet. I asked the clerk if there was a toilet in the area. Again he looked at me in a curious way and said there was an outhouse in back of the store. Out the back door I went and down the proverbial path.
Years ago, in my youth at deer camp and during a few months in Viet Nam, I had used an outhouse. So I wasn’t totally grossed out by the smell. However, I didn’t know what I would use as toilet paper when I entered the odorous abode.
The single hole in the wooden plank utilized as a toilet seat wasn’t as filthy as I imagined it would be. So I unbuttoned and dropped my trousers, did my business, and looked around for something with which to clean up. Someone had left an old newspaper, and I reached for it to use for cleaning up.
However, the headline of the newspaper caught my attention:
“C.S.A. President Davis Meets with Generals in Capital City of Atlanta”